Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Strong flavored episodes of life

1. He was stronger, more vigilant and tougher than his peers. Someone called his name from a distance. The sting in his forearm was more than sufficient to make him immobile. Blood oozing from the right thigh was making his pants wet. A swollen ankle made no more difference. He remembered her face when she fed him mouthful of food. She had many a times smiled and shouted too. She never said she loved him but she could not simply live without him. He whispered with his lips moving in a meager manner,
" Ma, I need to save your life, so i will live through this..."

2. The doctors had warned her of the complications. An unfaithful husband to live with may not sound promising but a life to save seemed more desperate. From the morning her hips and spine had seemed to poke her with sharp stabs and the intensity increased by the hour. When trying to reach her husband she only received a female voice that informed of his flight to another city. She sat on the bed and breathed heavily for a few seconds trying to think of only getting the tiny life out safely. After managing inform 911 about it, she prayed to god in a mute voice,
" If the baby comes out safely i swear to donate my ovary to a needy"

3. The young woman saw the flight leave from her terrace. They had enjoyed much together and it all happened in a whim. Nothing made sense till the day she was informed of the selfish plans. No one to trust and nothing to believe in. Her idol guy through high school left for an overseas study program that she had always dreamed of. Not that she was jealous, but sometimes tough periods of struggle made life more strenuous with hurdles rising tall. She had major commitments with loved ones making her stationary. It was then the quivering insides broke out and made her feel some truth,
" What God intends for you is more than your dreams, wait to see the light"

4. He had lost again the game again. It was not the losing part but the confidence it generated within him. The whole world around him sympathized but it only thought of him otherwise. The worst was the passion that never diminished within him,urging him to see and experience the heights well above his capacity. It taught him more than he realized making his journey worthy and vibrant. The public burns dint pain but the assumptions and the short falls he faced in reality kept kicking his gut. That's when he read in a book,
" Without failure success is less significant and more boring!"

This is for all those souls who has had pit falls and tasted sour flavors more than other flavors.
Life can never be the bed of roses as it is hallucinated to be, well if it did I sympathize those who never enjoyed concurrent failures.
--
Karthika Raghavan.

Monday, September 15, 2008

To Condone or Condemn?


This is an intense period of remorse i guess. Bad times are definitely defined by it. Today marks a milestone in it. I never never want this day in my life again Believe me!!! I spoke too much as a daughter to my lovely dad. I wish not to wake up and look into those lost eyes again. He never spoke back when i shot angry questions at him. I guess the sins earned today can set an unbeatable record in my karma account. May be I know and all know that he is a rough steep and angry man but actually the softest of tissues lies beneath all that hastiness in him. I wish to ask " I'm sorry dad", though i know my bloody go to hell ego would not do it immediately! This thread is not to evaluate my English skills or boast on my humility. I feel like the fragile weed lost in the sea after the harangue and I definitely would wish for a better life for you.
Many days I have behaved like a ear-less being when you opened your mouth to me. Deep inside i always love dad as good as mom. I know you have tried to be caring and loving to me.But the same hastiness persisting inside is posing as an affectation in me to avoid you.
May be when i stand really on my own leg I'll prove to be that smiling daughter you expect.
You always are the epitome of hard work in my life and noone can replace the Hercules i see in you! :)
I'm lucky to have you and mom as the best parents and also a great supportive brother at the end of the day. God bless you guys with the best of health, wealth and abominable LUCK!

Hey all of you readers if you feel I'm still a bottle full of emotion, here is the reply!
"look at your family before going to hell! " :)
cheers & lots of love to all
Karthika

Friday, September 5, 2008

Om Namo Narayanaya Namaha

He has always been there wherever we all went. He does define the meaning of Omniscient doesn't he?
Did you all know this happens?.....

The azure was brighter than before and more cloudless. A black rock stood silently waiting for its occupant to land. A little later, may be aeons later on earth! A distant swishy sound grew louder as the majestic king of Aquiline clan gliding down to the earth carrying his better half on him, landed on the rock .The sight could be etched in a humane brain for eternity. The Lord known as "Parandhama" lovingly smiled seeing his creation. It always seemed new every time though they every basically redundant. His scions who blindly existed for him must return to his home! Garuda waited for the Lord's instruction like the tongue working for the brain.
He has come down to repeat his patriarch duty and most importantly he will always keep doing it.

Parandhama has a face that showed nothing except the copious void yet the ultimate master of all for those who recognized him. Thousands have praised him for just him and everything he was, although it could never satiate the thirst to know HIM. How could one describe entirely of an abounding, eternal extant?

Oh Lord,wishing that you forgive this irremissble soul,grant me a vision forever that is filled by YOU,YOU and just YOU!

From a meager lover down somewhere, probably nowhere, Appa!
Om Namo Narayanaya Namaha

Friday, June 6, 2008

Learning to TRUST before a Fall...


A chord started shaking when I saw the vast expanse lie ahead ,but sensing your presence behind a strength tighten me back to normalcy.

I'm gifted to have seen the light at every dark tunnel and smelt the fragrance of your flowers when I was near the gutters.

I felt a power the self holds when i look into your eyes and it woke me to face the brightest of the mornings .

When everything around me turned mute I still managed to hear just your voice which always sings of hope and colors painted ahead of me.

With all these signs around me I still trust You to catch me as i stand at the brink on the cliff of my life!


“What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine.”
- Oprah Winfrey


Karthika

Saturday, April 19, 2008

An Omniscient Addressee


The words addressed to Him...

1. "Oh lord...let me win this time alone...i have to show the world what I'm capable of!",said the sportsman.
2."Help me get through this interview.Its my only chance..my GOD!!!...im freaking out",said the woman.
3."My dear God i want mummy to get me a candy...just one...just this time...please?.. :)", said the toddler....
4."I should get the first mark ...i should get the first mark.....it should be ME....",said the student
5."I want to meet my partner as soon as possible.oh god!...please let her be beautiful!", said the young man.
6."Hope she gets out of the sickness very soon.Oh lord i dont want her to suffer",said the worried mother.
7."98 thousand....99 thousand.....let more and more votes come in....Lord save me!",said the sweating politician.
8."He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me....he must love me!..sweet heavens!!!! make him love me!"said the desperate young lover.
9."Cant the day get any better?....God let hell burn down!...why do i suffer for just one dollar...?"said the begger
10."I wish I could write this entry better!....is it interesting God?.."says Me . ;)

And down came the shower of hope in times of despondence,with letters flying up eternally!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I really DONT KNOW.....


Doubtful......
Seems to be THE WORD in my life most of the time.Hey im not here to write out some dumb made up poem n read it myself to boost my self poetic ability.
Once in a blue moon i get those words but slowly...i feel those sentimental phrases bore me.May be it was a momental drainout then...but ( the usual word!) i mostly get embarrsed reading it myself later.Are all humans this fragile sometime..somewhere about someone.....?
Wow....these few months have made some phenomenal changes in me.like being more scared of my UNCERTAIN future.Hey Who isnt ...?may be i just drank my cup of that TEA!...I dont want this blog to be the carry bag of my love story! NO....there are better things to list out...aint it?....may be this is the "MASALA" blog holding the developments of my mindsets in every stage of my life.

Growing as a person you were meant to be n realising it... was wonderful!... especially when you review it...because it happens just once a lifetime!...

Of course we know deep down there are some permanent things we crave for but...growing means just to HIDE IT perfectly,that in time even the CREATOR forgets it !

I do, i did ,but i may not....carry the past.Seems like the films right?....kudos to the story writers...except that we decide the ending ourselves!

Getting back to the crap im going to say...not being harsh to anyone in general...i ashamed of being the emotional bottle i was before n i just am growing or rather craving to peep into that glorious future of mine.

may be now....just for sometime i see things around...that look so arid?....so rigid n unmoveable?...hey i can say that PAST made me look life through brown glasses!....most men seem to be like the switches in a house that doesnt have power. well here is the fact -- someone is meant to be for someone but not for me! I like the control i have on myself n i'm proud to have scrapped through with minimum damage in the highlighted events of my life!

For now things that run in me are my career, family n of course my strange invisible future HUSBAND...(c'mon who isnt curious!), But definitely not that day for which i keep wishing it was the best that happened yet the the worst of all!!!!!!!

psst -....hope i dont get sleepy reading this one in a few weeks!

ciao!

Monday, October 22, 2007

One of my Favorite Videos....

hey....after a long time i guess...Now im going to post a video...for all those tamilians out there see this one.Its a classiq tamil song by Gemini Ganesan and from the movie Sumaithangi and sung by the famous P.B. Sreenivasan...
enjoy it!?!


video

Karthika.

Deep SILENCE is always preceeded by...
an enraging storm!?!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Key to her life...




This should be the last post concerning matters of my heart i can assure (not that im weakening when i say this...)


Shradha...the name brings so much pleasure to me when i say it.Poor girl dint realize her strength until she faced it all alone.

Muted since teenage she always spoke through the eyes.rarely did someone notice its meaning.She had just one being at even school with whom she shed her true say-Shriya.They seem to share some unknown rapport which tightened eventually by their common bleeding emotions.

Shradha seemed always lock her things in a safe place to which she had just one key visible to her alone.

"the key to her life."

She never spoke from her heart .And when she did it was only to Shriya and now all contained in objects and memories stored in what they called papers.They meaned more to her.It was all that defined her-the purpose of her birth.
Truly they were very precious to her.But silly Shradha,from the top view it was always that everyone had one such key hidden in a person may be or diaries.But whatever said and done she would never accept it, for according to her,what she said and did was something unique from what the rest of the world did!
Then one day came along a boy may be of the same age.It was a practice that shradha exercised on all.To view with those brown eyes of her and scan them .No one was exceptioned from it.He spilled trouble especially to her since the moment she laid her eyes on him

It seems that the DAY she had woken up was saying something that might change her entire life from then on.She simply failed to notice it!

It was all like an accident when the blazy thing happened.Just in time to school she was in a rush when she was stuck up in a big crowd.
The key seemed to dangle in one of her shallow pockets and at the end of the swish and swash of the squeezing commotion she went to her class.It was normal that day and she surprisingly did well in class.

Happy after the day's performance she was about to leave.It was the key that called after her every time he passed her.Just to be sure she checked, to find it wasn't there.

Out of intuition she saw what the boy was doing.There it was visible just to her eyes...stuck in his bag socket!


"Agrrr..what the hell?",burned her eyes."But why hes got it?Ohh lord save me"
She marched into his arena and said in a polite manner,"Could i have my key back?Its kinda hard to leave without it..."

He scowled with some interest.Pressurized not to succumb to his charm she kept her face strong
and repeated the lines.

She barely understood what he said and demanded him to return hers while she waited until THE-TOMORROW.

Irony danced and he thought she was some outlander demanding his sacrifice for her kins health!He ran and sped away from that place.Never bothering to look back at her and only face her if she insisted to meet.All grace to his luck since she dint persuade him.
The tomorrow came and the next too...he seemed to have vanished from her vicinity once and for all.

Mistakes,mistakes done and redone...She managed to break the locker and using it became a rarity.Her locker damaged for lifetime became a relic.

Years went by and later when she met some common friends as they talked of traveled years,She came to know of something that shocked and surprised her (secretly though!)
The little boy who was in a tiff with her seemed have lost his valued purse to some girl and suffered a good wrath of her shrewd brain(like a customary!)

The whole story was that he dint know where he was and what he was doing when he foolishly gave a girl his purse that said all about him.

"To every action has its equal and opposite reaction"-these words ringed like an invisible piano playing near her ears!

She did pity him...of what she had scanned about him long back he was surely one hell of a nut who never knew what he was doing.

"Become an adult and lost your identity?i wish i could do something to help you..." ,were her words of sympathy to him.She had excused him long before and now she wanted to help him.

She departed from the reunion when something spoke to her about the strange night.Again for the second time she dint notice.The train she had to board has a few passengers and one of them was the face she would never forget.

It was like the angels had heard her words and she was gifted with-

The key and the ANSWER to her life...

Smiling,she sat beside him with a renewed liking and the journey together started........may be forever! ;)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A happy family...



The menage i called it...
They smiled for that picture to be shot!
Mine was,is and will be one too always...
growing up in a tight bound family was the reality!
mum never laid the rules...
she repeatedly said,"this is the way".
Im happy MOTHER,no regrets...

seeing her as i hid behind the door...
mutely crying wishing her kids had better life
many a times i wished to bring a million dollars home...
Just to see her smile and be happy!
but again as ever she told me...
"Life is not about money honey...
but oneness and harmony."
Im happy MOTHER,no regrets.

The only souls id say who will turn back...
when i laugh,cry and win in the end!
ive seen you make ends meet...planning,
strategies over night to get us bread next day
those lifeless days you spent yet smiling at me,
ive seen you never tired to face everyday,
Even as the colosseum stood in front of us,
Im happy FATHER,no regrets.

As I grew up with fine brewing...
Im indebted to your selfless souls for it...
i warned the HIGHNESS above,
"Hey you better keep them happy..."
Sometimes even issued a notice to even kill HIM!
i bow to you for many a things in my life...
the d-days i caused trouble to shake you up.
Some words are unspoken unleft...
We cant undo them but i wish to makeup...
Im happy FATHER,no regrets.

Time flies and days run as i grow...
We dont sit to count it anymore,
Yet wish me luck for my errand to complete
"Shhhh", i wont say what or why i run it...
Just a clue for you to guess it.
As they say SPECIAL things come in small packages,
You both are my special package but...
I have to return something to you!
Just bear with me simply as before.
Im trying to show you a light you may like,
similiar to the delirium you showered me once...
Till my last breathe id always say
IM HAPPY, MOTHER and FATHER...NO REGRETS!:)

love,
karthika

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Big returns



Some things are meant to happen,
Somethings are not,
Whose fault is it anyway?
You know u make a mistake,
And you do it still because your heart says,
When i got hitched to him,
Love was all red and pink,
With a lining of black at the back,

He always used to ask me,
"Darling shall I reside or...?"
As though i held him with a tight chord!
And finally not caring to turn back,
He left without a note to bid a say,
I thought,"Dint that toddler remind you?"
The best answer i got was not a reply...
I thought you loved me for a long time,
But time is a healer and im passing it.

But the tide is back when i found her missing,
Not at school not at play today,
But a note from the neighbours,
Which i hold with my shivering hands...
I scream aloud mutely,
hating to read that handwriting i knew long before,

"Like i dont care for you and her,

Why should i say even this
I thought you knew it
BE BACK FOREVER..."

Why this return journey and where to?
In the road of love trust and my life
Im going blind deaf and tongue tied,
I shall not return to my peregrination this time,
Atleast i hope to hope on him for a while
And I wish it would be for eternity!